Nobody Cares.

Nobody. Cares.
Nobody should ever care more about you than yourself. It isn't a matter of being self centered. No, not at all. It's loving yourself. It's coming to terms with who and what you are. It's knowing that you are being the best person you can be, and finding that, that is all you need. And learning there is nothing else to want.

My parents have been in a tumultuous marriage for practically 25 years, and these past months have been the best things have ever been.

I have angst galore aplenty. But I keep them locked away. There is no need for perpetual heartbreak in my life now. If Stephen and I don't figure things out, and we don't move on at all, we will end and I will cherish having had him as a huge part of my life and he will be part of who I am. There is no sense in holding on to something that doesn't work anymore. There is no sense in living in misery. Why? Why should anybody? Being with Stephen gave me a chance to have learned that I only have myself. The only guaranteed thing in MY life was ME. If I was happy with myself, than that was enough, and all that mattered. Everything else was secondary. Until you know what you want for yourself and where you want to be, how can you decide what you want to surround you?

My Mom needs to learn this. She should learn that everything starts with her and ends with her. Why should she base what becomes of her life on someone else' choices? Specially knowing full well that the person she's waiting on HAS NO BALLS and will perpetually blame his failures in life on somebody else?

Nobody cares! My mom should know that nobody cares. She has to figure out what she wants FIRST, not wait for him to figure out what he wants before she finally decides. If she wants something to change, then she should get to it. Waiting on a failure will not lead to happiness and success. It's like a slowly sinking row boat you gotta paddle on both sides! If all the paddling happens on one side, and the other does nothing, the boat will get nowhere. It's better to jump off and swim towards shore. The boat will sink anyway.


I have a lot of bitterness and anger. But I don't entertain them because they not only serve no other purpose beyond causing me pain, they are also counter productive. Really though, if it came down to it, I have every right to make my father pay. And I'm thinking right now, he shouldn't push his luck. Because anybody with a functioning brain will have a limit. and I am nearing mine.