I still watch about 90 minutes of shows... And maybe 60 minutes of youtube... And the rest is homework. (oh, and facebook... and twitter... but I do those on my phone...) And my eyes can't handle it all. Steve said to just prioritize homework... But dear God, I will probably kill myself if I did that... Internet entertainment is all I have these days... Specially with my hate-mild dislike relationship with outside... He said to find some other form of entertainment. But what? I don't really have a hobby outside of computers these days.... What did I used to do when I was a kid? We ate mangga, had school from woke up at 6, at school from 7:15 - 4:30... homework... family TV time, supper, then bed. Weekends, we went to relatives' house/s, and played sungka, went to the creek, napped in hammocks...
Actually recently I was talking with a childhood acquaintance and she was talking about various townsfolk... Who knew me but I didn't really know. I never really did much outside of our house or yard... My most vivid memories of things I used to do as a kid were really things I had done once, like the day when we snuck into the local theater then went to the cemetery afterwards and B got hurt, or that one time when we were running around and B got attacked by a dog... Or a couple of times, like the couple of times I went up the roof with my cousins and B, hid in the ceiling closet thing... I could probably count 100 memorable things in my life of 8000+ days... There may be more memories... But really very few of them are outdoors.
Well... we used to play in the clinic yard and the church yard a lot in comparison I guess...
I never did realize how unnaturally sheltered I had been when it comes to these things... It was probably a defensive tactic I subconsciously employed back then... But geez. I still hate outside. It's too big. This house is too big. Maybe I was some kind of cat or dog in a past life. I 'den' and not 'cave' like bears or something... I like being close to my walls...
Back to the topic... No artwork on DA so far... Though I have done two things that are not related to school. So I haven't failed on that regard yet. Doesn't matter that i haven't uploaded them. I'll just take what I can get. My novel is still largely undone. I've read 5 books so far. I don't know if I'm on track on that. Forget about the blog front.
Because I have also been avoiding blogging. I've been in a crappy mood for the past little while. More so these days because I feel like nothing is going right. My nose erupted in fever blisters, I have no money left, and I worry about my grades/when I go back to work/money in an endless torturous loop. I worry about Steve, about Steve and I, about my mom, my family, I miss my family... And then the weekly schoolwork... And then my head always hurting. Like seriously... I haven't had headaches like these for sucha long time... Uhg. I always have a headache... but these days... I get really bad migraines. Gah
Well, that's all.
No comments:
Post a Comment